Sitting Pretty

I had a moment today where I glanced at my garbage bag out of the corner of my eye and couldn't but help think how pretty it looked. It's glistening sheen from the sun and crinkled appearance from the awkward handling of my hands as I adjust to carrying it through my day. It was a brief realization that while to the rest of the world it just a garbage bag, to me it is starting to take on the meaning of something more. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am becoming strangely attached.........

Later while paying at a check out, the cashier smiled saying she liked my bag. As I shared with her about my commitment to carry a garbage bag for 365 days, she quickly jumped in offering suggestions as to how I could possibly create a handle to carry it more easily. Our conversation  stayed in my mind. It wasn't about how nice she was or the her willingness to help - it was her acceptance of who I was and what I was doing. She triggered something within me that I secretly crave - a sense of feeling normal. I mean, by appearances and social etiquette standards I appear normal, but it's quite different beneath the surface. There's all that "former foster kid" stuff lurking. I don't even like the word normal or when people use it, yet I'd be lying if I didn't say I'd give anything to know what it feels like. To have a moment or day without the garbage of the past - to simply just be normal.  Today I was given that opportunity. While carrying a big awkward, clumsy garbage bag, another human being freely gave me the valuable gift and healing experience of several moments of normalcy - just seeing me for me, exactly the way I was.